Contradiction

Duvet hibernation

while the tears pour down

a certain satisfaction

in solitude

Phoenix resurfacing

world encompassed

a certain satisfaction

in company

Solitude

I feel safest when I'm alone.

The serenity of solitude seduces me.

And yet, I am aware that the mere thought terrifies some.

Perhaps they simply feel more comfortable in company.

For me, blessedness occurs when I do not even have to be in my own company,

let alone that of others.

Confusion

Tired and frustrated

Yet knowing joy

Spoilt and deserted

This fool of joy

Mayan Solstice

So, the shortest day has passed without drama,

and we head to the light again,

slow minute by minute,

give thanks for the world.

Wanderings

Trees, aching,

deprived of limb

stark against the

orange-hazed

polluted

night-time sky.

Mourning

for those they have

loved and lost.

Separated,

cut

Broken

yet free from

the fetter that bind

Standing tall and proud

Regardless

of all that has been

and will be

who knows

what the future brings

and what the past has dreamed

It's not for us

or them

to know

?

Questioning

without answers

and yet it's right

no escape

just constant learning

Dreams

All that we feel

is that real?

or is it just

illusions

dreams of what could be

that will fade

like a star

dimming as the morning light

creeps across the sky

Blinking our way through life

Hoping each time we open our eyes

that this time

in this dawning

peace will be ours.

Rant

Which world do you want to live in? A world where everyone says “Fuck you Jack, I'm all right?” I'm tired of that bullshit. It's made me tired for a very long time. So long that it has gradually and insidiously made me a shadow of my former self.  So much that I have been tempted over and again to not be here any more. It's made me sell my soul to the devil and nearly destroy myself. It's an attitude I am sick to the back teeth of.  Where is the care?  Surely someone out there somewhere gives a flying fuck? But, you know what? I wouldn't be in the slightest bit surprised if no one did.

I have gone to the brink, believing this world is too far gone. I have attempted to not be here, self-medicated, done everything possible to stop thinking. To avoid being told (biggest insult possible when Scottish) “you think too much”.

Maybe I do. But then, maybe we could all do with thinking a bit more. Who knows?

Off the Road

Dreaded, threaded deadheads
gyrating in grateful ecstasy
Cassady's dead from reds
leaving a tea-toking legacy
To the Gen X hippies
with their nag champa apathy
and feelings of discontent